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Logan Palmer is looking back on his Bachelorette journey with a whole new lens.
The former contestant, 26, exclusively spoke to PEOPLE at the taping for the upcoming “Men Tell All” special, airing next Monday. He addressed his decision to stop pursuing Rachel Recchia and instead to fight for her co-lead Gabby Windey, as well as the events leading up to his abrupt exit.
“I wanted a chance,” Palmer said of his “team” swap.
“Leaving the show so suddenly, I didn’t have much of a chance to explain my side of things to the group of guys as a whole,” he explained. “When things got split, things were kind of relayed through other people or it was kind of like a telephone game of what had happened and the conversations I had had and where I was at.”
Taking part in “Men Tell All,” for Palmer, “was an opportunity for me to sit down in front of all of them and be like, ‘here’s why this was tough for me.'”
“‘I didn’t maneuver perfectly but I did the best I could. And it was something that I tried to do out of honesty. I’m sorry that affected so many,'” he continued. “I got a lot of emotion from people who were feeling like my actions caused a ripple effect. And I got the opportunity to apologize for the outstanding residuals of what had happened because of me, but I also stayed strong in being like, I don’t regret it, because I was following my heart, but I’m sorry for the way it went.”
Added Palmer, “I’m sorry for the way it affected people. And I wish I would have done it differently. So I think I am proud of the way I interacted with people today and I think I’m a little better understood, maybe. I would like to think so.”
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When Palmer’s journey to pursue Windey, 31, was cut short after he tested positive for COVID-19, it was “devastating.”
“When it happened, I was like, ‘Man, I just risked a lot to just have a moment to try and get to know Gabby.’ And this thing that is completely out of everyone’s control has caused it to be taken away,” he said.
“I was asking the what-ifs at first. I was like, ‘What if we hit it off? What if I got to hometowns? What would happen if she met my mom? Would she like my dogs?'” he recalled. “And then, eventually, as time passes, and time being two months pass, and you go, ‘You know what? She finished her journey. Obviously, this is something that was kind of supposed to happen.’ As much as I admired her and as much as I felt these things for her, I think maybe she didn’t quite feel this strongly because she was able to carry on and we never got a chance to fortify it.”
Palmer said he’d “like to think that happened for a reason,” but it still wasn’t a great moment to endure.
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“At the time, it was the worst,” he said. “At the time, man, I was like, ‘I just had some of the hardest conversations in my life to get in the same room as her and now it’s like, now I’m quarantining.’ Yeah, so that was tough.”
At the end of the day, Palmer acknowledged that there are “some things” he would approach differently if given the chance to do so. But he ultimately is happy he followed his instincts.
“I don’t regret acting on my heart. I think the worst thing I could have done was just kind of continue on with someone who I didn’t quite see a future with and so I’m glad I was honest,” he explained. “I’m glad I spoke my peace. I also said on stage that like I wish I would have been able to have that conversation weeks earlier.”
Heading into next week, Recchia has one last hometown date with Aven Jones. The 26-year-old star also still has Tino Franco and Zach Shallcross competing for her heart.
Meanwhile, Erich Schwer, Jason Alabaster and Johnny DePhillipo are still in the running for Windey.
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The Bachelorette airs Mondays at 8 p.m. ET on ABC.